Mikado in Wonderland
by Blossom187
Summary: Mikado had a very odd dream, he did.


**I don't even know...^^'' I hope you enjoy it, anyway. **

Unlike most versions of this story, Mikado was very much aware that he was dreaming from the very beginning, after all it wasn't really his style to go around in puffy dresses and a white bow on his head. With an exasperated sigh he regretted reading Alice in Wonderland before going to bed that night.

It wasn't until he walked around a bit when he realized he wasn't in the Wonderland from the book, he was in Ikebukuro…except it seemed like a candy store had puked on it. Everything was bright colors and odd designs; maybe a better description would be Ikebukuro on LSD. Mikado rubbed his eyes from the shock of such a view.

As soon as he was starting to get used to the sensorial overload, something ran -skipped?-past him.

"Excuse me!" Called Mikado "Where is the castle of the Queen of Hearts?"

Mikado just wanted the dream to be over with and he knew where the story ended.

"Oh my ears and whiskers, how late it's getting!" Answered the creature. The surprise on Mikado's face when he realized who the creature was couldn't be described as anything but priceless.

"Heiwajima Shizuo-san?"

Indeed, it was Shizuo – clad in bunny ears and holding a huge pocket clock.

"It's late, I must go find Tom!" Shizuo ignored Mikado and skipped away, revealing a white fluffy tail as he did so.

"Wait!" Mikado yelled as he ran after him, but somehow missing him completely. _'Great'_, he thought sullenly, '_now how do I get out of here?_'

He was now somewhere that resembled a forest, but had too many similarities to the city's park to be called one. Mikado straightened his dress and looked around looking for someone to give him some directions.

"Are you lost, little girl?" He heard a voice purr behind him.

"I'm not a lit..." Mikado paused, in awe. "You!"

"Me?" Izaya grinned. "Why, yes, of course! Who else?"

Orihara Izaya was perched on one of the branches of the many trees around, his bushy tail swaying slowly behind him. '_How fitting_' Mikado sighed.

"Err. . .Did you by any chance see where the Rabbit went?" Considering who he was talking to, Mikado was pretty sure it was safe to assume he would get a positive answer.

"Shizuo-chan?" The cat hopped off the branch and landed perfectly in front of Mikado. Izaya scratched his chin and finally answered with a shrug. "Who knows?"

Mikado couldn't quite hide his disappointment at that. "Can't you tell where to go from here then?"

"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to." Answered Izaya, grinning again.

"I don't much care where-" Mikado went on-didn't he have a goal? Why all of a sudden he was acting like Alice from the books?

"Then it doesn't matter, does it?" He stood behind Mikado now, his paws on his shoulders.

"You can go that way." Turning the boy to the left. "Or that way." Turning the boy to the right. "You're sure to get somewhere."

Mikado blinked and turned to stare at the Cat, however he had already disappeared.

"Fine!" He muttered and turned to the left and hoped he would soon get out of here. Mikado walked for what it felt like hours until he found a sumptuous house snuggled between tall buildings. The boy walked over to it eagerly, hoping that maybe he could get directions from someone.

Upon approaching the front door, he realized the door was already opened. He knocked a few times but when no answer came to him, he decided to enter the house.

"Hello!" He called.

"How rude!" Someone chastised from the main room. "Entering someone else's house like that."

"I'm very sorry!" Mikado apologized and mumbled some excuse about calling and the door being open.

"Very well", said the man, turning to face Mikado. "Is there something you need?"

"Well…" However the boy had to stop and try his hardest to disguise his surprise and laughter when he saw the man in front of him wearing a gas mask. . .and a dress. Mikado didn't remember meeting such a man but he knew very well which character he was representing: the Duchess, which meant the Cat should be around here somewhere and maybe now he could get a straight answer.

"Go on!" Shingen rushed. "I don't have all day!"

"Do you know where your cat is?"

"My cat?" The Duchess looked confused. "Oh! Heaven's know where he went!"

"Oh, I see…" Mikado couldn't hide his disappointment. "Do you know by any chance where is the castle of the Queen of Hearts?"

So, now he could ask proper questions? Silently, Mikado mused if it had something to do with that damned cat…

"Why would you want to go there?" Asked Shingen. Mikado tried not to get his hopes up, but maybe the masked man knew how to get to the castle.

"I just want to get to the end of this story." Answered Mikado with his head bent and heavy sigh.

"You don't need to get to the castle to get to the end of the story." Said the Duchess in a tone that implied Mikado was nothing short of dim witted. "You only need to find its moral."

"The moral?" The boy was confused. "I doubt there is one."

"Tut, tut, child! Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it." Shingen told him holding up his index finger.

". . .Right." Was all Mikado could say. "Well, thank you for your help…I will, uh, find the moral now." And hastily moved towards the front door.

"You do that!" The Duchess said. "And please, close the door on your way out!"

Mikado should have known asking the Duchess for directions wouldn't end up in nothing short of utter confusion. Felling rather tired, he sat down on a bench by the house and stared at nowhere in particular.

Sitting down doing nothing got old real fast and so Mikado resumed his journey, he walked around for quite a while but less than he did before finding the Duchess' house and eventually he heard someone singing, the sound seemed to come from an alley which now looked very much like a clearing, however in the middle of odd looking buildings instead of trees.

"Mad people live there." Said Izaya, scaring Mikado. "But then again, mad people live where you just came from…"

Mikado didn't react; he was still trying to restart his heart. The Cat was silent, waiting for a response.

"But I'm tired of going among mad people!" Cried Mikado a moment later.

The Cat laughed. "You can't help that!"

Mikado had a feeling where this was going.

"We're all mad here!" Izaya twirled, his arms open wide. "I am, you are…"

The boy furrowed his brow and stared at him. "I'm not mad."

"You must be!" He touched the tip of Mikado's nose with a sharp claw. "Or you wouldn't have come here."

The boy rolled his eyes and walked towards the clearing, ignoring the "You were warned!'' Izaya yelled as he faded away again. That was when Mikado gave up on relying on that idiot cat for anything and then he stomped to the clearing where the singing was coming from.

"Twinkle twinkle, little bat." He could make out the words perfectly now. "How I wonder where you're at."

The voice, of course, was very familiar to him and it was hardly stunning to see Kida, the Dorm Mouse lazing around. In the clearing there was a long table set perfectly for tea time, it was enough to feed much more than the three people sitting there – counting Kida, although he seemed too sleepy to actually bother to eat or drink anything.

At the furthest corner of the table was someone else Mikado had no recollection of meeting but most likely has seen around and beside him was Celty, the headless rider or more accurately the headless March Hare.

"Oh, look, Celty!" Said the Mad Hatter cheerfully. "We have a visitor!"

Celty turned her helmet, no longer cat eared, to Mikado's direction and nodded.

"Well, sit!" Chirped Shinra. "The tea will get cold!"

Awkwardly, Mikado did so.

"So, girlie," Started the Mad Hatter while pouring more tea to everyone's cups. "What brings you here?"

Mikado didn't even bother pointing out that he wasn't a girlie and instead sipped the tea – he also couldn't help picking up one of the scones displayed in the plate in front of him.

"Well," The boy began his tale but before he could utter mare than that single word, he was interrupted by Shinra.

"You look like a bright young girl." He said, scratching his chin. "Care to answer a question?"

Upon hearing that, Celty typed something on her PDA and showed it to her companion.

"Celty, I'm hurt!" The Hatter cried, putting one of his hands on his heart. "That question is not 'idiotic', you couldn't answer it either."

The Hare just 'sighed' and moved her hand as if to say 'go on, then'. Mikado thought that if she had any eyes, she would have rolled them.

Shinra cleared his throat. "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

Mikado just stared at him, face blank. Then he heard a chuckle coming from the shadows in the far corner of the alley turned clearing. The big grin made it clear who was the new guest.

"I told you you'd get no answer here, little girl." Izaya smirked.

"Oh, Izaya-san!" Shinra turned to face the newcomer. "What a surprise."

Celty just sat there, obviously displeased by the addition, Mikado smiled at her in understanding. Things went downhill from there as Izaya came out of the shadows and not two seconds later was struck by a huge pocket clock.

"IZAYA-KUUUUUN!" An infuriated Shizuo showed up.

"Shizuo-chan!" Said the Cat standing up, unscathed and showing his sharp claws.

The two of them started to go at each other with a murderous intent, Shinra watched them in amazement but Celty just seemed bored and maybe a little worried. When she noticed Mikado looking rather frustrated and tired she motioned for him to get closer. He did so, being careful to avoid the brawl going on.

[Is there anything you need?] She typed. Celty knew she had been right when his answer came in a hopeless tone.

"Do you know how I can get to the castle of the Queen of hearts?"

[Why would you want to go there?]

"I just have to get there to go home."

[…you're…you're not a space alien, are you?]

"What? No!" With that answer the Hare seemed relieved.

[Just go down the street and turn right, you can't miss it.]

The happiness that engulfed the boy was obvious for all to see if they weren't either trying to kill each other, watching a fight like it was the most fascinating thing ever or sleeping using a toast as a pillow.

"Thank you so much!" The Mikado dashed off leaving the sound of braking china and snores behind him. He couldn't believe this dream was almost over.

Mikado rushed down the street paying no mind too his surroundings save for the direction he was going, he turned right and tripped slightly in his rush, dirtying the knees of his creamy white stockings. Upon seeing the large castle in front of him he came to a halt, almost tripping again.

The Castle of Hearts was not like it was normally portrayed there were no hearts to be seen and the only thing that could grant it its name aside from the obvious was its crimson stone walls. Mikado thought the sight would have been beautiful had it not been so damned absurd. He saw no way to enter the castle unnoticed and so he walked up to the guards standing in front of the main gate.

He recognized them two of them, they were part of that group of the van. Mikado approached the one he thought was named Kadota.

"Excuse me," Said the boy to the ten of spades. "Would it be possible for me to see the Queen?"

The two cards looked at each other and laughed.

"Sure, girlie" Answered Kadota between laughs "Would you like your own castle as well?"

Mikado stood there, not knowing what to, the guards still laughing at him. It wasn't too long after that when he saw that the castle gate was opening – the two guards ceased their laughing fit in a second and resumed to their positions, standing still as statues.

Coming from the gate, in all her glory, was the Queen of Hearts. She wore a crimson velvet dress, the same color as the castle and her jet black hair made her skin look porcelain white. Behind her, were two more Cards.

Mikado kept looking at the Queen, she was that lady he had faced off so many months ago – Yagiri Namie. The boy fancied the role was quite fitting.

"What are you staring at, girl?" She demanded.

"Uh…nothing?" Mikado's answer was barely audible.

The Queen raised an eyebrow "What do you mean, nothing?"

Mikado was silent.

"Am I not worth it?" She looked angry now "You insolent girl!"

Promptly Namie turned around and ordered to the two Cards behind her:

"Yumasaki, Karisawa, take this girl to the dungeons!"

"Oh, another execution?" Exclaimed the Card named Yumasaki.

"Can we play with her first?" Asked Karisawa.

"Sure, do whatever…" Allowed the Queen "As long as she's still alive when we off her head tomorrow.

Mikado was very troubled by all this and that was not how the story went! Before he could even protest he was being dragged by the Cards into the castle.

He was terrified by the time was started to lose track of thing, his vision was blurry and he couldn't make up any of the sounds anymore. With a start, he woke up late at night in his bed - his head throbbing a little. Mikado looked at the clock, it marked 4am – plenty of time to sleep but he wasn't sure if he wanted to. So he retrieved the fallen copy of Alice in Wonderland from the floor, put it on his night table and swore to himself to never read anything and sleep after having dinner at that Russian Sushi place before finally dozing off again.

**I apologize for any OOCness, I really do.**


End file.
